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probably the most stupid, sadistic thing to teach your children
Could not agree with you more. My dad has been gone almost 10 years. When I am in the woods in my deer stand or walking looking at the tree tops for squirrels, I think about the hunts I spent learning from my father. As I have no children, I pass on what he taught me to my nephews.
Thanks Duane. Such special times with uncles or other relatives have a unique value all their own too.
What to do if one is a dyed-in-the-wool city-slicker? Seriously, its something of a divide in traditionalist-Catholic circles which affects the cohesion of (and could one day split) the community: the hunters/rusticists vs. the urbanists. I admit we are in the minority, however…
Robert E., You raise a great issue that needs to be addressed. While there is something of a divide between the two groups you mention, I don’t think this need negatively affect the cohesion of the community. Urban and rural life done rightly should be truly complementary. While I am convinced that a general return to living closer to the rhythms of the natural world is important for all of us, this does not mean that we all need to live in the country and raise our own food, etc. There is an urban way of living that respects the order of the natural world and remains connected to the people and other living things in rural areas. This of course bears more discussing.
As regards the more specific issue of the article, I suggested that there are a variety of activities that are very fitting for father and son. They need not be rural-centered activities; carpentry for one is not. At the same time I would suggest that certain forays along the lines of hunting or fishing, or simply hiking, are good ways for even dyed-in-the-wool city slickers to cultivate that ‘other side’ of their own selves.
I appreciate your comment.
40 years on I remember going fishing with my dad, though we did not fish often or well. And I remember going to his job to work on our Pine Wood Derby cars. And I remember camping for Indian Guides, and that he coached my Little League teams. And on and on. I never realized how lucky I had it that he was around often doing stuff with us kids.
Interesting article that rang very true in my experience. However, a somewhat pedantic point is that most of the hunting in my youth was carried out with dogs and horses and a crowd of other hunters. A very different experience to the American one. My equivalent experience would be mountain climbing – that worked for my relationship with my son.
Kennedy, It is interesting how different kinds of activities can be the context for quality one-on-one time. Of course those communal events, such as hunting was in your experience, have their own importance place too, as they can likewise give our youth a great sense of belonging. Thanks for sharing.
Once again, Dr. Cuddeback, you are wonderful and inspirational and literally amazing. Keep at it, pleaseeeee
Thanks Brian. May your hope be fulfilled.
Very well said. This rings true in my experience with my own father and is something I hope to be able to do with my sons.
Beautiful, John.
Can this be applied to a fishing excursion as well?
Carlos, It certainly can! I think that what we fathers should be thinking about is finding GOOD CONTEXTS for being-with our children. Often these contexts are more simple than we think–perhaps involving not much more than ourselves, the natural world, and some simple gear or tools. A characteristic of good contexts is that they somehow bring us together precisely IN and through what we are doing. This of course is not to say that we never do lesser things together–such as watching a movie, which can also be a nice shared activity. But I think we need to realize that the richer contexts of which I am speaking are becoming more rare, and we might need to make a special effort to make them happen.
Well said 🙂