A blog for Catholic men that seeks to encourage virtue, the pursuit of holiness and the art of true masculinity.
Get Married, Young Man, Part 5: How to Meet Good Women
February 6, 2014
This post is part of a series on dating and marriage.
Previously, I wrote a list of things you should look for in a wife. Now, you might be thinking, That’s nice, but how on earth do I find a quality woman?
That’s a fair question. The problem in answering it is that there are dozens of ways to meet women, and no correct formula for meeting Miss Right. Sometimes meeting your spouse is a seemingly random act of providence that you could never have planned. Or maybe your future spouse is your high school sweetheart. The possibilities are endless.
And that’s why it’s so important to pray as you seek a spouse. God, in his providence, can arrange circumstances or seemingly chance meetings that you could never have planned.
But no matter how you meet your spouse, trust me, there are many beautiful, virtuous, and holy young women out there, and they are praying for a husband.
1. Church – The best way, in my opinion, to meet a good Catholic woman is through your parish. Find a parish with reverent liturgy and strong catechesis— quality women seem to be drawn to sacredness, truth, and beauty. Then, get involved in your parish’s community life. Don’t dash for the door the moment mass ends, but rather get to know people and serve in various capacities.
2. Friends – Your friends know people you don’t. That’s a fact. And if you have good friends, they probably know quality women. If you hang out with the right kind of people, it will highly increase your chances of meeting a virtuous woman.
3. Volunteering – If you’re passionate about a specific cause, volunteer with an organization that advocates for it. a good place to meet women who share your beliefs.
4. School – If you’re a college student, or will be soon, your years in college can provide many opportunities for meeting women. If you go to a state school, get involved with the Catholic community on your campus (hopefully there is one). If you go to a strong Catholic college, even better.
5. Online – A few years ago, I would never, ever have recommended dating online. I determined I would never do it, and I figured that if you chose that path, you were either desperate or crazy. Then I met my wife. Online. To make a long story short, we both read an article in Christianity Today about a small, niche dating site for Christians of a Calvinist persuasion (we are converts). We both signed up, I sent her a message, and the rest is history.
Now, I will say that dating online requires an extra degree of caution. It is very easy to fake a persona or be generally deceptive. Still, because I met my wife online, and she is a wonderful woman, I can’t rule it out as a possible avenue for meeting a spouse. But I wouldn’t recommend it as the first option either.
There is no formula for meeting your future spouse, but there are things you can do to increase the chances of meeting the right kind of women. Remember, meeting a good woman is only half the battle. After you’ve met her, you have to be overcome your fear of rejection and actually ask her out. But that’s another topic.
If you’re married, how did you meet your wife? What suggestions do you have?
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