Get Married Young Man, Part 3: 5 Ways to Prepare Yourself
by
Sam Guzman—
7 years ago
in
Domestic Church / Fathers / Get Married Young Man / Purity / Relationships
You can also filter by categories
#FultonFridaysAbortionAddictionAdventAgrarianismAngelsAnnouncementsArtAsceticismBeardsBeerBook ReviewBooksCardinal VirtuesCatechesisCatholic in the CubicleChairtyCharityChestertonChurch HistoryClear CreakClear CreekCombatconfessionConsecrationContestsConversionCourageCultureDeadly SinsDepressionDevotionsDisciplineDiscouragementDomestic ChurchDressDrinkingEducationEncouragementEnvironmentEtiquetteEucharistEvangelizationEventsFaithFamilyFarmingFastingFathersFeastsFraternitasFriendshipGardeningGearGentleman SaintsGet Married Young ManGiftsGiveawaysGratitudeGroomingHabitsHappinessHeresiesHobbiesHolidaysHoly MassHomesteadingHopeHumilityIndulgencesInterviewIte!Jesus ChristLeadershipLentLifestyleListsLiteratureLiturgical YearLiturgyLoveManly Catholic MenManly MoviesMarriageMaryMasculinityMoviesMusicNewsNFPObedienceOutdoorsPapacyPeacePenancePersecutionPersonalPipespodcastPornPornographyPrayerPrayersPriesthoodProductsPurityRecoveryRelationshipsRepentanceReviewsRosarysacramentsSacred HeartSaintsScriptureSeven Deadly SinsShakespeareShavingSinSmokingSpiritual WeaponsSportsSt. JosephStrengthSufferingTechnologyThe ChurchThe Country GentlemanThe Gentleman's ListTheological VirtuesTheologyTraditionTruthUncategorizedVideosVirtueWebinarsWill of GodWomenWorkWorshipSorry, we didn't find anything.
by
Sam Guzman—
7 years ago
in
Domestic Church / Fathers / Get Married Young Man / Purity / Relationships
I would say : learn to be generous. Because it takes a whole lot of generosity to get married and if you can’t give 5 bucks or 5 minutes to a poor old fella, you probably are not able to give your life to someone else, no matter how much you love them.
I’m getting ready to get married in July, so thank you for the tips. #5 is especially important; many of those I have taken the marriage preparation classes with are eager to “get the classes out of the way,” or find a way around it. I think this is shortsighted and snubs the wisdom of the Church.
There is a misplaced emphasis in the marriage preparation process. Many spend countless hours coordinating flowers, catering, and other details of the wedding that pale in comparison to the far more important spiritual preparation of the wedding.
Read “Love and Responsibility” by Karol Wojtyla aka St Pope John Paul II. As a college student I read it with a group of brothers in Christ, and we learned so much about human relationships, sex, and God’s love reflected in our love for others. Much recommended!
Thanks for sharing Sam. Marriage is not easy like others see it. It’s more on commitment, not just to your wife/husband, but to yourself as well. Make sure you are financially secured and has emergency funds kept on hand. Especially when you already have a child.. you’ll never know what might happen next.
Very great post!!
very funny to see the word “naiveté” written like in french!
As my mother says, even childhood is a preparation for Marriage, it is not the moment to start preparing yourself when it comes. It is a long-term job!
Happy new year and “Bonjour” from France
Reblogged this on The Greatest Tragedy and commented:
I was alerted to this blog post recently and thought I’d share it! It’s part of a series on marriage with men in mind (I know there are quite a few guys reading this thing…) but I think this one in particular has sections which can apply to women as well. Enjoy! If you like it, be sure to read the rest of the series as too!
Reblogged this on Marc's View on Stuff and commented:
Some good advice is here! I know there are a few newlyweds who may read this blog-o-mine!
In the Infant King
Marc
Sam,
All points well said! I can vouch for the Dave Ramsey approach to managing family finances. He is UBERLY Protestant (pray for his conversion!) but the financial discipline taught and approach is very good and useful. I do wish I had been more financially savvy when married nearly 15 years ago!
I do believe that almost everyone could benefit from more financial discipline. And, I realize there are many people out there who are better off for following Dave Ramsey’s advice. However, I don’t like (and don’t personally recommend) his particular approach because his advice (as it has been relayed to me) is not financially sound.
To illustrate (just one simple example based on friends who have followed his method): Suppose you have two loans: $1,000 at 10% and $100 at 5% and you have saved $100 from your paycheck to pay down your loans. Dave Ramsey’s approach (based largely on emotion) is to pay off the small loan because it reduces the number of loans you have (and presumably provides some emotional positive feedback). That path saves you $5 of interest in my simplistic example. However, sound financial advice would suggest that you put that money toward paying off part of the larger loan and saving $10 of interest.
Mathematically I think you’re correct. But I also know the (emotional, yes) therapy if crossing stuff off of lists. That emotion may just help folks get into gear more and knock it out.
The other part that may not work so well is his recommended guides for % in budgets. In my family of 9, our food budget outweighs his recommendation. His typical audience member is probably not a family leader in a situation like mine 🙂
Not married yet, but will be in about 4.5 months, God wiling. In my relatively limited experience, these are all great points. To add on to number 5, a few more resources that I’ve enjoyed/believed to be beneficial are “Three to Marry” by Ven. Abp. Fulton Sheen, “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” by John Gottman, “Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love” by Edward Sri (layman-friendly version of Bld. Pope JPII’s ‘Love and Responsibility’), and Theology of the Body (originally a series of talks by JPII, but Christopher West has books and courses that make it more accessible). Thanks, Sam, for all the good content, and blessings on those who are preparing to marry!
I liked how you said get rid of the TV, but put a filter on the computer. Great post my friend! keep them coming!
Reblogged this on Clock Ocean.
Reblogged this on Catholic4Life.
You cannot love someone you do not know. You cannot meet needs of which you remain unaware. Work now and constantly on your communication skills. Pay attention. Be proactive in seeing to the other’s needs.
Philosopher Pruss had interesting post; http://alexanderpruss.blogspot.com/2013/10/arranged-marriage-and-love.html
Excellent point. Learning to listen and be attentive is such an important part of marriage. One I am still working on!