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Dear Sam, I thank you for the courage of writing this articles, which I find very important in this modern society so distant from God. I understand you were fresh in marriage but advices from experiences of others and the guidelines of the Holy Mother Church are present, that to me means a good path from the initial impulse to the final content. I agree with most of the ideas, myself I have had hard experiences that shaped my personal view on marriage ,through mistakes and thankfully God’s grace, closer to this of a catholic gentleman. I salute your hard work and good spirit. Godspeed.
“Catholic men who have discerned they are called to marriage, but who have not yet found a spouse”
What exactly does that mean? I’m serious. Phrases like “discerned the call to marriage” and “the marriage vocation” are recent inventions. I never ever heard them while growing up in the not-too-distant past. But I see them everywhere now. “I have discerned that I am called to be married, but I can’t find anyone to date.” To me that makes absolutely no sense. First you find someone to date, then perhaps later you decide if you want to get married. This notion that you can “discern” the desire to be married in the absence of a potential spouse just makes no sense at all to me.
No matter how long you are married, you will never be an expert on marriage, not even your own.
I look forward to reading this series pf posts. This is an important topic, that needs highlighting.
Reblogged this on Catholic4Life.
Great idea Sam! I am 32, married five years to my best friend and have been blesses with four children. I, like you, feel that I am sharing my life with a saint-in-the-making. It is easy to champion the sacrament when your counterpart makes it so relatively easy. What’s difficult is effectivel sharing these ideas with those that, to some extent, have bought the world’s mantra. Thank you for starting this conversation here at CG.
Just a thought. Nowadays, people are dating of egoistic reasons. They want to use the other person to get experience, to play, and so on. Use him/her. Whereas a real Catholic never uses anybody, and dating is good only with one purpose: to see if the other person has the values I am looking for in my future spouse, and if I could create a good christian marriage with her/him.
“Why? Because let’s face it, we live in a culture that is hostile to marriage. If you want to get married and start a family, especially at a young age, you’re looked at as some sort of freak, or at least hopelessly naïve.”
I disagree with it–the culture is not hostile to marriage. On the contrary, if you’re not married, you get a lot of “when are you going to meet someone / get married” questions.
I’m a young man currently discerning marriage with a beautiful and virtuous young woman. I greatly look forward to reading your series. Lovely photo by the way.
I got married at 23, and never did it cross my mind that I might be ‘too young.’ I had just completed my formal education and had a good job in my chosen field.
LITSRB: you may be a fortunate one to have a good job in your chosen field. Many men and women struggle for years have enough work and income to kep their head above water: those are the people who are not marrying young. And if a man made the mistake of going to a Catholic College with a student debt to pay off, is it far to that man or his wife in children to live just above the poverty line? Oh the good “Catholic” College is pestering you for money to build a gym or something else.
I don’t have a job in my chosen field anymore, as I am now a stay at home mom who blogs about my experience. I am also the proud graduate of the Catholic University (no mistake here: Go Hall!) who gives what she can when she can.
I’m not admonishing people whose heads are not above water: I would like to think the author would agree that this means you’re not ready to get married and as such shouldn’t enter a serious relationship.
I’ll set aside your assessment that love is only for those who can afford the luxuries of life. I’m thinking you didn’t intend it to sound so dire.
Thanks, Sam! As a relatively young Catholic, I am looking forward to this series!